Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Unawaredness

Unawaredness* is not a word. So I am going to use it. Because it describes the following perfectly:
  1. Albert is unaware of his tail and the damage it can do. He walks past something and knocks it over, it crashes,he jumps and looks at me indignantly as if I did it and deliberately to scare him. Almost like how I am unaware of my own beauty. Just kidding - I know I'm beautiful, my Mum told me. While we were watching Miss Universe one day. She compared her pimply teen with braces to the contestants and said I was much prettier. And she's always right. Except for this one time but we don't talk about that.
  2. You know who else is unaware?  Boring people**.  Even when I start typing or walk away from them, they just think it's because I had something to do. They have no awaredness of their boringedness.
  3.  People running side by side on the footpath. Apparently they have unawaredness about where exactly I'm going to go so as not to be mowed down by them***. 
  4. Flirtees - these are the ones being flirted with by the flirters. I have much unawaredness of this.  This is obviously the only reason why I am single. 
  5. Every other driver except me.  They have much unawaredness about where I am going, how soon I need to be there, what speed they should be driving at, what the stick on the side of the steering wheel is used for and that you cannot push in front of me because you didn't want to wait in the right lane like the rest of us. I will squeeze you out.  
  6. Me last week.  It was very cold in Los Angeles - as the weather channel reported, we had a cold snap sweep over us and the temperature went to down to 65****.  Winter in LA is brutal.  So, I dug out my winter coat, buttoned it up and headed off to work.  Looking like a five year old dressed me.  The buttons were all out of alignment.  This is what happens when you live here, you forget how to button.  I am button unaware.

*Have just realized the word I am looking for is oblivious.  Not unawaredness. That's not a word
** Actually just people
***Until I stop and put my arms out like I'm flyingThat brings awaredness to the forefront very quickly.  And then a fight.  And then awaredness that I am not a very good fighter. Or runner.
****18 Degrees Celsius

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